Sorcerer’s Handbook

Back in the hotel room, as soon as Annan saw Banjeet, she went over and hugged him, gently rubbing against the blue-haired butler. “Banjeet, I’m back.”

“Even though it’s been seven hours since you left, Miss, for you it must feel like it hasn’t been long since you finished breakfast,” Banjeet said with a smile, patting Annan’s hair. Actually, Annan was a bit taller than him. “Anyway, you’ve worked hard.”

“Yeah.” Annan turned to look at Ashe, who blinked and seemed like he wanted to run, but the next second, Annan flew over and hugged the Cult Leader, giggling. “Ashe, I’m so tired today. You need to comfort me!”

Watching them play and tussle on the bed, Lise turned around expressionless and walked away. Passing by Igor, she whispered, “Aunt Bukin, emergency meeting.”

“Alright.” The Con Artist held back the necromancer who was about to leave. A confused Harvey was dragged into Igor’s room by the two of them.

“Why did you call me here?”

“Because today we need to discuss a very important issue,” Lise said seriously, sitting in a duck position on the bed with her arms crossed. “Annan is going to take Dad away!”

“…Even though I don’t pay much attention to their love life, Alice told me a long time ago that Annan and Ashe getting together was just a matter of time,” Harvey said, spreading his hands. “After all, Blasphemy Gospel of the Funeral is filled with danger, anxiety, and risk. In such a mission state, it’s easy for us to develop the misattribution of arousal and feel a strong affection for our companions.”

“Among us, let’s not talk about Banjeet and Lise, Igor, you were reserved by Anfel a long time ago. Plus, you and Annan are both the type who won’t hesitate to use any means necessary — you can cooperate out of necessity as comrades, but any closer relationship is impossible. You can’t be each other’s confidant, not even friends — as for me and Annan, we are the kind who grow distant from each other.”

Being psychoanalyzed by a necromancer made Igor’s mouth twitch. He said irritably, “You’re talking like you might like someone.”

“I like Ashe,” Harvey said calmly. “And you all.”

Although it was rare for Harvey to express his feelings, neither Igor nor Lise felt happy about it. They were unsure how much of this affection was influenced by necromantic elements, so they tacitly decided not to probe further.

“So Annan liking Ashe is just a choice without a choice? Forced and insincere?” Lise’s eyes lit up.

“Of course not,” Harvey shook his head. “Let’s ignore the fact that what we call ‘liking’ is merely a biochemical outcome of oxytocin, endorphins, and other hormones, making the concept of true or false irrelevant… Even Alice can see that Annan genuinely likes Ashe.”

“Although Ashe doesn’t seem remarkable at first, and still doesn’t feel so after getting to know him better, it’s hard to dislike him. He has a mysterious aura that doesn’t fit in with his surroundings. Sometimes I even doubt if he’s really from the Blood Moon… If you truly try to understand him, it’s hard not to fall for him.”

“This,” the necromancer glanced at them, “you should understand better than I do.”

“Let’s get back on track,” Igor said calmly. “The issue now is how to address the situation between Annan and Ashe.”

Harvey took a catnip cigarette from the pack and lit it. “Why address it? They’re a perfect match. Who are we to oppose them?”

“Weren’t you the one who said you wanted to take revenge on Annan once you regained your freedom?” Igor asked. “If Ashe and Annan are together, don’t you find that troublesome?”

“Oh, that. I almost forgot.” Harvey pondered for a moment. “I can let it go.”

“And your necromancer dignity?!”

“A necromancer’s dignity lies in obtaining more perfect corpses. Clinging to revenge would go against my principles,” Harvey shrugged. “After they live their happy lives, I’ll collect their bones, pass through the veil of death, and turn their happiness into my strength—”

“Stop, just stop!” Lise covered her ears. “Lise doesn’t want to hear that!”

“And besides,” Harvey continued, “have you considered Ashe’s feelings in trying to split Annan and Ashe apart? I have Alice, Igor has himself, but Ashe, still an ordinary person with simple pleasures, surely craves the warmth of an intimate relationship. He might be secretly happy about this situation.”

“Are you planning to take away his lover and not offer him another one in return?”

As he spoke, the necromancer glanced at the two of them, his face clearly saying, “How do you plan to repay Ashe for what you’ll owe him?”

Igor lowered his eyes in silent contemplation, but Lise’s eyes lit up. “It’s just a matter of finding Dad another lover? No problem! I can find not just one but even four!” ř

Harvey asked, “Did you make friends with some new people near the hotel or something? But I meant a mutual, comforting lover, not a daughter who needs taking care of.”

Igor sighed, for once tenderly patting Lise’s head. “Lise, if you push Ashe into this, he’ll end up violating Criminal Law… Wait, if he gets taken away by the Red Hats for breaking the law, that would physically separate him from Annan…”

“Oh, I didn’t mean myself… Well, maybe I did… Anyway, I can definitely introduce Dad to a kind, mature, sly yet silly, beautiful older sister!”

Igor considered it for a moment. He was aware Lise had a hidden personality, so he could somewhat guess her thoughts. However…

“If we have to wait ten years, by then Annan and Ashe’s child will probably be about your age, and you might already be used to calling Annan ‘Mom.’”Nôv(el)B\\jnn

“Hmph!” Lise raised her head defiantly. “Just you wait and see!”

Despite her words, they didn’t form a unified front against Annan. Harvey was on Annan’s side, Igor wavered in the middle, and only Lise was firmly against the idea of a stepmother.

However, by the time dinner rolled around, everyone’s mindset had changed.

“Ah~ um!”

In the hotel canteen, Lise and her siblings watched as Annan accepted bites of food from Ashe, feeding him in turn. When a grain of rice stuck to Ashe’s lips, Annan boldly wiped it off with her finger and popped it into her mouth, then shot a provocative glance at Lise and the others.

Not even hiding it anymore, huh?

Blatantly claiming him, huh?

Lise and her sisters were infuriated and shouted, “Dad, I want you to feed me that!”

Due to the Pact, Lise actually had some territorial claims over Ashe as well. Just as Ashe was about to turn around, Annan intervened, “Kids need to learn to eat by themselves and not rely on adults. Ashe, don’t feed her.”

“But Aunt Annan, you’re so grown up, why do you need someone to serve you? Feed me!”

“What we have is called ‘romantic interest,’ Lise, you’ll understand when you grow up. Don’t feed her.”

“Feed me!”

“Don’t feed her!”

Igor watched Ashe tremble, sensing that he was about to go into logical breakdown from the conflicting commands of the two Pacts. But then the Con Artist noticed something. As Ashe’s gaze drifted to the false starry sky outside the window, camouflaged by glowing grass, his eyes were soft and filled with affection, reflecting the glow as if they were shining.

Igor recognized that look.

People with that look can find joy in mundane tasks, smile at dogs on the street as if they’re being greeted, feel the wind as especially gentle, the sunlight embracing them softly, and everyone around them becomes more endearing. Even the blandest buffet turns delicious, their favorite drinks taste sweeter, as if the whole world knows someone’s in love.

Igor closed his eyes, and soon a calm smile spread across his face. He was about to end this farce when Harvey beat him to it.

“Banjeet, bring out the coffin.”

Banjeet, who was happily watching his young lady being charmed, found it odd that Harvey would want a coffin during dinner. But there were so many strange things about Harvey, so Banjeet simply took the coffin out of the suitcase.

As Harvey activated the spirit, Alice opened the coffin lid herself and climbed out, pulling up a chair next to Harvey.

Harvey shoved a spoon into Alice’s hand and said, “Feed me.”

“…I’m sorry, Harvey, I was wrong.”

“…I apologize, Uncle Harvey. I was being too arrogant.”

Seeing Annan and Lise sincerely apologize, Harvey waved his hand, signaling for Alice to return to her coffin. Ashe heaved a sigh of relief, finally able to eat in peace—

Suddenly, everyone’s Gospel Book in the canteen sprung open by itself, with the bookmarks inside gleaming brightly.

“Updated again after just one day? It’s evolved into a daily update now?”

“The Gospel is so diligent, I feel like I should tip it!”

“The speed at which it Weaves is terrifying…”

Voices of discussion filled the canteen, but the Funeral group remained calm. Since the ranking lists were all nullified by Ashe, unless the Echoers listed were people they personally knew, they could largely dismiss it.

However, when Annan opened her Gospel Book, her eyebrows shot up. “This time the ranking list… might be different.”

“How different can it be? Isn’t it always the same outcome of Ashe wiping them out?” Harvey beckoned Alice to sit beside him and look at the Gospel Book together. “Unless Ashe somehow can’t bring himself to do it anymore-“

Harvey’s skeptical tone cut off abruptly when he saw the title of the list.

“The Culprits Ranking.”

“Ashe,” Igor furrowed his brows slightly, a hint of concern in his eyes. “You might finally officially make it onto the list.”